Frustration

Okay, now I'm really starting to feel like a senior.

In math class on my first day of school this year, my teacher said that we will become extremely frustrated this year. That we will yell and scream and cry for no apparent reason because we will become so frustrated with school. Well, she was right. I just feel like everything is pissing me off and annoying me. Thinking about University gets me stressed about grades and my future which stresses me out about classes. There are too many decisions this year. Too many decisions that will affect you in so many ways for a long time. And it's not just trying to get the grades to make it in to University but my mom is not happy about me wanting to go away. I mean she understands but some of her comments make me feel really bad. I'm also a little worried about leaving everyone else though if I do end up leaving- what about the people I have been best friends with for years? Will we keep in touch and remain friends? I'm also a little worried talking to my boyfriend about it. We haven't discussed it yet but I'm waiting to see what happens before we talk about anything. I don't want to fuck anything up like I did when I left while dating J. And then there's student council. I think I wrote about how I felt like I was being brushed aside and not included as much as I feel like I should be. Well I actually had a nightmare about it last week. The problem isn't going away and I'm planning on talking to my friend about it when I can.

I dunno I may just be in a mood because I've been sick for the past few days but I'm just so frustrated with everything. I want a vacation- go somewhere and leave my worries behind for longer than a few hours at a time. Shmleh. I guess I just have to take it day by day and see what happens. Carpe Diem.

Love,
Brisbane