Hey. So I'm pretty well done my first week of school and it's been all over the place. I have great teachers this year and I love my spare. The work load is going to get bad but that's why I have my spare. I'm pretty content with this year so far. I'm really starting to get excited about being a senior. The only thing I'm kind of uneasy about is being Co-Prez. I still feel like I'm stepping on toes and need to prove myself. Last night, my friend who is also Co-Prez ("Puj") mentioned that from now on she will discuss all SC matters with me and hopes that I don't feel like she's taking over. But the thing is, she was kind of right about that. I feel like since Puj and the Vice-Prez have been together on Student Council together since grade 9 and they have been in Link Crew together they thought it was just going to be them running SC this year. I feel like since I came in to the picture, I'm almost stepping on toes and they're brushing me aside. I feel like Puj thinks she doesn't really need to discuss things with me because she and the Vice-Prez are kind of the experts, in a way.
So to kind of prove myself, I was prepared this morning for the first meeting which all went pretty well. And tonight, I decided to go to the Parent Council meeting to see what's up and to take initiative. But awkwardly enough, it wasn't tonight. It's next week. It was fun. My spirits were crushed. I wasn't the only one who mixed it up- there was another lady there. But it just didn't help to improve my mood about Council.
On the bright side though, Ken and I are doing great. He's going to Ottawa U and isn't in residence so it's great that we can see each other fairly often because we live really close to each other. We hung out on the weekend and he is incredibly sweet and really funny. Some of the stuff he says or does just stays with me. I mean we're really random together but that's what makes it interesting I guess. We skyped the other night because I was frustrated about thinking about Uni and I made a weird face at one point. He joked about coming to my house if I didn't stop and a few minutes later, we're on the phone while he's outside my house at 11 pm and I'm in my spare room talking to him because my parents were in bed and wouldn't be able to sneak out without making too much noise. And he just says things in this distinct voice when he's being sincere and it makes me so happy that we're together.
I mean last night, I went to grab a notebook to use for Student Council and I found two entries of a journal I had started in October. I talked about Doctor and how I just wanted things to get better soon. I remembered writing it. It was kind of a weird experience because those feelings are still fresh in my mind. I remembered the only thing I hoped for at the time was for all of the Doctor drama to go away and to be cured of acid reflux. That was all I dreamed of. And I knew it would get better but I didn't know when or how good it would get. But I wasn't upset reading those entries because I knew the ending. I wanted to slap my past self and tell her that it does get better. It was worth the wait. Because it gets a lot better. With an incredible boyfriend, amazing friends and a happy outlook on life. Carpe Diem.
Love,
Brisbane
PS: Today is suicide awareness day and my heart goes out to everyone who have ever thought about suicide, to those who have attempted and to those who have succeeded. Shen, if you're reading this, I'm glad you're still alive. I love you and you are in my heart every day.
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