I See How It Is...

Ouch. Thanks, yo. "Whatevs". I guess I see how I meant to you..

So I guess you guys need some context now, huh? Well today in my physics class, my friend who went through the whole Doctor situation with me handed me this folded piece of lined paper and said "Doctor gave it to me". I honestly have to say I was slightly shocked because no matter what it was going to say, she still actually made contact with us. The letter ended up talking about how thankful she was and how utterly sorry she was even though she knew it wouldn't make a difference. I mean it isn't like I'm angry that my friend got that letter and I didn't because I knew he went through a lot also and was really angry and hurt also, just in a different way. So for the rest of last period I felt like shit because I made so much effort to be the bigger person in Doctor and I's whole relationship and not sink to her level and she gave a letter of apology to the person who was the person to interrogate her about if the baby was real or not and stuff like that. I don't want to sound like a bitch and I kind of feel like one now for thinking about all of this but I just feel really betrayed even by its a person who I decided doesn't own my life anymore. It just kind of feels like all of my efforts to make sure she was okay in the end even if I was ending our friendship were all wasted. All that stress for nothing. Awesome.

The thing is, I have been waiting for something like that deep down for months, and to see it happen to someone else kind of stinks. Almost like when you train for for a big race just to have someone else win it who ate a chocolate cake before the race. I mean I'm kind of happy for my friend because he seemed really relaxed about everything and kind of brushed it off saying that he wanted to get rid of all of the tension and stuff. Understandable, understandable. But I guess what I'm saying is that it still sucks for me. Everything for the past while for me with the Doctor situation sucked for me. Awesome.

Love,

Brisbane