Seriously, you know how people are always talking about balance and equilibrium like it's a way of life? Well I don't always look at it like a good thing. Like right now- some great things are happening and then they are being balanced out by shitty-ness.
First off, in my last post I talked about my sister's friends going all bitchzilla on her and about wanting to do something. Well today she was really upset so I finally had it, so I texted one of her friends. I wanted to make sure I wasn't attacking them very much, rather being the voice of reason because years of friendship shouldn't go down the drain because of one new relationship. So I texted and I also asked for my sister's friend not to tell my sister because she would get mad and really hurt. So guess what the friend did- told my sister. So basically after trying to help my sister, I've only been kind of a hindrance and now I doubt my sister will trust me as much especially with this situation. The thing is- I know it's hard for her anyways but knowing she doesn't have many people to talk to because her friends are being assholes means she will feel even more alone. It sucks. I just wanted to help but like every other time in my life, whenever I try and help a situation, I just kind of screw things up and leave people worse off than before.
On top of that, elections are in a few days and my speech is going really well- the teacher who runs student council really liked it and my dad and I tweaked it and now I really like it too. So I was thinking that was going really well. But I need to get advertising fast. My friend and I have a bunch of plans for tomorrow and stuff but I'm so nervous. I really hope things work out well in the end..
The Cappies Gala is also coming up in a few weeks. Remember the musical I did? Well some people got nominated for this award show they do throughout the city so I decided to go with some friends from the musical. We're going to go to dinner and then to the award show to support everyone. But guess who is on the list... Doctor. Fuck- why can't I get away from her? I honestly want to punch her- how am I going to spend the night with her when I can hardly stand being 10 feet from her? I swear if she talks to me I will snap at her and then end up looking like the bitch to people. I just want it to be summer so I can escape being in the same city as her. I want to go back to where things were all good with good people. I just want to go back to Istanbul.
You know those times where you look at a memory and are so thankful for it but are so heartbroken by it that you'd rather not have had it at all? Well it's kind of like that for me. If I had never gone to Istanbul, I wouldn't have met all of those amazing people and had that amazing experience but on the other hand I wouldn't have to miss them, you know? I know I'm going back soon but I am about to explode with longing to stay there. I just want everything to work out and stay like that for a while this time.
Love,
Brisbane.
P.S. 37 days <3
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